Lizards

Hello Everyone!

I am done hibernating and am ready to get back to this blog.  This is a poem I wrote over the winter, I hope you enjoy.  I am nervous about putting my voice out there, but what the hell.  I am getting bored with keeping my writing to myself!

Where are the Lizards?

The only lizards now are the ones running across my memory.

Their little bodies are asleep somewhere, curled up like dogs under layers of fall.

In truth, I do not know the way they sleep, or how, or if what they do can even be called sleep-

If I were more like Mary Oliver or even more like myself,

I would know.

Maybe in the spring I’ll wake up.

And like the Lizards I will unfurl.

I will stop distracting myself from being myself.

I’ll shop less, clean less, and I’ll un-busy myself with worries of the future.

Next winter I will write about the Lizards and

I will tell you exactly where they sleep and how.

Buckwheat Pancakes with Cricket Flour!

Making these pancakes was easy; taking a picture of them wasn’t.  Food photography is hard!  Anyhow, I discovered buckwheat and now I am in love.  Buckwheat is so nutritious and full of protein, fiber, and magnesium which we all could use more of.  Another thing going for is that it is low in phytic acid, so it is a bit easier to digest.  It’s not even a grain!!!  I had no idea.  To make them, I mixed together 3/4 cups buckwheat flour, 3/4 cups water, 1 big banana, and a couple tablespoons of cricket flour.  I used coconut oil and fried them in an iron skillet which makes them even better!  Next time I make them, which will probably be tonight, I am going to add more cricket flour because I was a little too shy with it.  Lastly, when you make these, use real grass-fed butter because life is too short to eat the crappy stuff.

The Simplicity of Honesty

 

I have been reading the “Exquisite Risk” by Mark Nepo and I took a picture of this chapter because I really want to share it with you.  This is one of those books that found me and his words are exactly what I need to hear right now.

I have done a wonderful job at physically simplifying my life.  I live in a bus, I share a car with my boyfriend, I have parred down my wardrobe, I cook and eat healthy food, I am able to create time for myself, and I garden.  Yet, the inner peace I thought simplifying my life would provide still eludes me.

As a girl, the characters I most admired were the revolutionaries, the warriors, the singers,  the teachers and poets.  As a young woman I tried to be these characerts.  I approached what ever I was doing with the desire to help people and the environment and while there is nothing wrong with that, I was pursuing that desire without being aware that I was also searching for something else: peace.  The kind of peace that can only come from being seen and recognized for who you truly are.  I struggle with work, because I don’t feel seen. I feel like a shadow of myself when I am there.  I realize now that when I feel like quitting work and running out the door, my real desire is to use such a bold action as  if to say to myself, family, friends, and community: “This isn’t me goddamnit!  Being a receptionist is not all of who I am.  I am Amanda.  I love being outside and getting dirty.  I am a revolutionary in my own way. My passion is homesteading and entomophagy, and helping people reconnect with nature!!!!!!”

Maybe if I can be aware of what I am searching for I can be more honest with who I am and what I want to do with my life.  If I am not searching for fame and just peace, how might that change my actions and life path?  How can I can satisfy my need to be seen without the grandeur of fame?  How can I see myself and honor who I truly am?  These are questions I will think on for a bit and in the meantime I want to practice noticing when others are just asking to be seen for who they are and honor them:)

 

 

 

 

Keyhole Garden Update

I made a beautiful mistake and I am so glad that I did because I learned so much!  When I was adding materials to my garden bed I didn’t pay enough attention to the carbon/nitrogen ratio, so now I am struggling to bring my bush beans back to their beautiful green color.  Plants need nitrogen to grow and when they don’t get enough, their leaves can turn yellow.  Nitrogen can be added in the form of green stuff like grass clippings, or urine, manure, blood etc.  I am currently using an amendment derived from dead sea birds and I am slowly seeing my plants regain some color.  I have been spoiled in the past with really great soil to begin with, so I don’t have experience building soil from scratch.  I am fortunate to have this opportunity because it gives me an appreciation for the complexity of soil life.  I am noticing that without the right balance, my garden is void of the variety of bugs that I used to see in my old garden and I don’t have mushrooms!  My plants are also not as big as I think they should be at this time of year.  I’ll keep trying and learning and let you all know what happens!

DYI MacBook Sleeve!

Why Apple can’t just include a sleeve with new laptop computers is beyond me.  They come fully charged and ready to go, but no sleeve. ughhhhh.  I had a difficult time finding a sleeve for my tiny MacBook Air, so I decided to just make one out of materials I already owned.  I ended up using an old shrunken sweater, two buttons and a rubber band and I love how it turned out!

Drought Tolerant Polyculture Keyhole Garden

I never plant anything in rows, and have always had great success with polycultural gardening.  My gardens look like a wild mess, but this way of gardening helps maintain a balance between the the “good” and the “bad” bugs and weeds.  I planted lettuce, carrots, collards, alliums, turnips, parsnips, and a bunch of other stuff.  The idea is that when the lettuce comes up first, I’ll harvest the whole plant which will make room for other plants to grow.  Everything is planted close together, but not every plant has the same needs.  For example, lettuce is shallow rooted and carrots have long roots so they don’t really compete for space.  Also, the onions won’t be ready to go until later on in the season, so they won’t be needing the same space as plants that are coming up early this summer.

I am looking forward to another year of experimenting and learning more about polycultural gardening, and  I am super extra excited this year because I created a raised keyhole garden bed based on a design that has been successful in dry parts of Africa and Texas.  The basic idea is that most of the garden is composed of compost materials like wood, cardboard, weeds etc and has a wire mesh basket in the center for kitchen scraps which provide nutrients and moisture.  For more information here is an interview with Deb Tolman who is an educator and teaches others how  create these types of gardens: Interview with Deb Tolman) Here are photos of my garden and I’ll keep you updated on how it evolves.

 

 

 

A Bird Came Down

The other day I followed a little Chickadee down a path and watched him collect material for his nest.  I felt my humanness unfurl as I perceived the world as though I was him, but it was given back to me more whole and beautiful the moment he flew away.  It is our immersion with nature that makes us human, not our distance from it.  Here is a poem by Emily Dickinson that reminded me of the little Chickadee:

A bird came down the walk:

He did not know I saw;
He bit an angle-worm in halves
And ate the fellow, raw.And then he drank a dew
From a convenient grass,
And then hopped sidewise to the wall
To let a beetle pass.

He glanced with rapid eyes
That hurried all abroad,-
They looked like frightened beads, I thought;
He stirred his velvet head

Like one in danger; cautious,
I offered him a crumb,
And he unrolled his feathers
And rowed him softer home

Than oars divide the ocean,
Too silver for a seam,
Or butterflies, off banks of noon,
Leap, splashless, as they swim.

Ginger Melon Mealworm Smoothie

The other day I created my very own super food smoothie in my new vitamix and I have to share the recipe with you!  Here is the basic idea:  One chunk ginger, a tablespoon or so of spirulina, a handful of dandelion greens, a handful of honey dew, 1 tablespoon of Mealworms, ice and water= delicious.  Sometimes I will add half of a banana because I love the consistency it creates.  It doesn’t seem like all these ingredients would be good together, but the mealworms add a nutty flavor and the melon and ginger cover up the bitterness of the dandelions and the pond-like taste of the spirulina.  I hardly ever measure anything so you might want to play around with the ratios until you get it the way you like.  Let me know what you think:)

Mealworm Farm Update

I have been away from my blog for the last two months and have been writing a ton of posts in my head but I haven’t actually written any of them down.  I am sure you know how it goes:)  It is spring after all and I have been distracted!

I almost gave up hope on my tiny farm.  All the meal worms were originally in one big bin which was going great until the bin became too moist and mold started growing.  They also starting transforming into pupae and then beetles so I feared cannibalism.  In their world, eating your friend or your baby is probably fine, but it’s not good for business!  I looked to several videos on You-Tube for advice and many seasoned meal worm farmers have had success using a multiple bin system where you separate the meal worms, pupae, and beetles.  I chose the Sterilite drawer system and bought two, three drawer units and stacked them on top of each other.  Many farmers suggest cutting a 10 inch square in the beetle drawer and putting in a mesh screen so that their eggs could fall through into the next bin.  This is a wonderful idea, but I couldn’t make it work because the beetles always found a way to wedge themselves under the duct tape and got stuck.  I even used aquarium glue as a food-grade adhesive but it wasn’t strong enough to hold up the screen and the weight of the beetles and the oats they live in.  I am willing to try again if any one else has a better idea on how to make this screen idea work because it would make sorting them so much easier.

Here is a picture of what my set up looks like:

I also stole an idea one woman had and I now put the food for the bugs on pieces of paper so that if it gets moldy it won’t affect the oats.  Since I switched to this new system I do not have any problems with moisture or mold.

Even after converting to this new way of doing things, there were a few weeks where I almost threw in the towel.  It took a lot of time and effort to move all of the meal worms and then it took another eternity to separate the pupae and then to separate the beetles.  I worked so hard, but nothing was happening!  Where they mating?  Where they eating their babies?  Where they happy?  I couldn’t tell:(  I began searching for ways to turn their home into the ultimate love shack and I must have done a good job, because now I have hundreds of super tiny meal worms!!!!  They love darkness hence the duct tape and they love heat which we have been getting a lot of lately.

I ordered some more meal worms mostly so I could have something to eat until the babies grow up (oh my God I sound like a monster), but also so I could ensure that they all don’t metamorphose at the same time.  So far I have been able to harvest a few tablespoons of meal worms which I freeze and then I either fry them up and sprinkle them on food or put them in smoothies.  I am hoping that I can grow enough meal worms to provide myself with a large percentage of the daily protein, DHA/EPA, and B-12 that I need.  Here is a picture of a taco I made with meal worms fried in garlic and butter and another picture of me enjoying it!!!

In my previous post I talked about commitment.  All my fears are still with me but I am sticking with it and here I am eating meal worm tacos!  Right when I thought about giving up I met a friend of Matt’s who teaches survival skills and who surprisingly is trying to raise meal worms to eat too.  He is discovering many of the challenges that I am, and after talking with him I realized that it is people like us that must go through these challenges and learn from them so that we can inspire and educate others.  Eating bugs isn’t a new thing, but farming them for human consumption in the US is, especially in colder climates like the Pacific Northwest.  I want to show people that there is regenerative alternative we can turn to to provide us with the protein and nutrients that we need.  I know I am a weirdo, but hopefully I can help normalize the eating of bugs and bring the idea into mainstream consciousnesses.

I am a Bug Farmer!!!

 

Being a bug farmer is not what I had in mind when I said I wanted to be a farmer. Perhaps I should have been a little more specific when I prayed to the universe, but I kinda like that the universe surprised me and helped me find my niche. Bug farming isn’t glamourous, but it is wonderous and beautiful in its own way. When I peer into the bin full of mealworms, I see a microcosm and I feel as connected to the ecosystem as I would if I were farming chickens or vegetables.

Any type of farming is like a marriage and requires a deep level of commitment. Healthy, regenerative farms are born of great effort, but I am nervous about this whole endeavor. I am struggling as I explore my relationship with commitment and have a lot of fear towards committing to a great many things. I am afraid of being responsible and depended upon because what if I fail? What if I am not good enough? What if the grass is greener on the other side? What if I am vulnerable? What if the deepest purest expression of myself is not met with love? When I actually get these worries out of my head they seem commonplace, but I spent my twenties feeling the crushing enormous weight of these worries and now have only begun to let go and commit to what I love despite fear. Scott Peck, a psychologist said that “love is effortful.” It just occurred to me that having my own personal ceremony where I commit to being a bug farmer and entomophagy educator may be a powerful way to solidify my commitment. It sounds silly, but as with a marriage commitment, there’s a sense of security that goes along with it. As long as I put forth my best effort and keep trying no matter what, it’s okay to fail and it’s okay to not be good enough. I am ready to inspire, educate, and learn; come what may.

So with that said, allow me to introduce you to my tiny friends!

 

I ordered them online and had them delivered to me through the mail. Following directions I read in a book and online, I put them in the refrigerator to slow them down while I prepared their new home which is a plastic 20-gallon container. I poked holes in the lid with a screwdriver which was really easy, and then I filled the bin with rolled oats that I ground up in a blender. This apparently gives them more surface area to live on. After this, I put them in their new home with some fruit and veggies and Matt and I stared at them for a while which was actually quite interesting and fun! I planned on keeping them warm with a heat lamp, but I didn’t feel good about leaving it on overnight due to heat lamps being fire hazards:( So now they live in the bathroom next to the heater which keeps them at the low end of their preferred temperature at 70 degrees. I hope that as it warms up they’ll be happier and friskier and will make more babies! Now I am just waiting for magic to happen. In a week or so they will morph into beetles who will then make babies that will turn into mealworms and start the whole process over again. I’ll keep you updated on this entire adventure as it unfolds.

P.S check out the receipt for everything I needed to set my farm up and the mealworms only cost $11.50.